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Markiplier's Quest for Coffee/Transcript
This is the transcript for Markiplier's Quest for Coffee. Transcript Markiplier: Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier and... wait a minute, I think I'll have some coffee! (Markiplier goes to the coffee shop) Markiplier: Where's the coffee? Where's the coffee? Coffee Shop Lady: Sold out of coffee. Markiplier: What? Sold out of coffee? Coffee Shop Lady: I'm afraid so. Markiplier: You're sold out of... coffee? (Markiplier leaves in shock) Markiplier: Uhh... Bob? Wade? Bob: Yes, Mark? Markiplier: Pack my torch. It's time we get some coffee! Bob: Some what? Markiplier: Coffee. You know, coffee. The thing I need. Wade: There's lots of other coffee shops around here. (all the other coffee shops close down) Wade: Nevermind. Markiplier: I'm losing my mind! Wade: I'm thinking of a plan to- Markiplier: Shut up, Wade! I'm thinking of pressing B to blow at the moment... but not without my coffee! I need my coffee! Bob: Who else wants coffee when they get up? Markiplier: I can name half a million examples. Lixian... JeffKyler14... Anna Otter... Bob: I don't think otters drink coffee. Markiplier: Wrong! They can if they live in a certain Canadian lake. Wade: I'm sorry, but you're trying to say- Markiplier: Shut up, Wade! I still need my coffee! Wade: OK. Markiplier: What do I do in case of a coffee emergency? It's not like a kangaroo can barge in and block the sunlight without my coffee! Wade: Mark, be careful what you say. Markiplier: Shut up, Wade! Bob: What he was trying to say was that it CAN happen if you're not careful. Markiplier: Then I'm losing my mind! It's gone to hell and won't return for a while. Bob: Can we just get the coffee from a grocery store? Markiplier: Are you kidding? They don't sell the coffee I like! Bob: This can be a problem. Markiplier: Of course not! We can always grow our own coffee... if we had a warm enough climate and many months! Bob: Then what do we do? Markiplier: We get the fastest-growing coffee seed in the world. Word has it that it's my favorite coffee. It only takes a minute to grow to full size, which is 10,000 feet tall. And I'm sure getting the coffee seed takes... a flight to Australia. That's all it takes. A flight to an Australian market, and 7 AUD. Does anyone have 7 AUD? Bob: I do. Saved it up from my last trip. Markiplier: Good. (on a plane to Australia) Markiplier: Just hand the person you're buying it from the money. Bob: OK. (in Australia) Markiplier: Now, we have found some- (Bob finds the fastest-growing coffee seed in the world) Markiplier: Good! Now we can- (laughter is heard) Markiplier: What was that? Sophie Clone: It's me, Mark. Here to- Markiplier: I'll let you know that I haven't had my coffee this morning. I'm losing my mind as we speak. (Sophie Clone backs away) Markiplier: OK, now what? Bob: We ask whoever runs that stand. Markiplier: Good idea. (Sophie is seen going to the stand) Sophie: Hey, guys! Bob: Oh my, she's so cute! Wade: Will you- Markiplier: One sec, Sophie. (to Wade) Shut up, Wade! (to Sophie) Now, here's 7 AUD for the fastest-growing coffee seeds in the world! (Markiplier gets handed the fastest-growing coffee seeds in the world) Markiplier: Thank you. Bob: Why aren't they growing 10,000 feet tall yet? Markiplier: Let's get back to the United States and I'll explain. Lucky I have a passport. (back in the United States) Markiplier: OK, so let's plant all these seeds, cover the seeds up, and give them water like every other plant... (Markiplier gives the seeds some water) Markiplier: And, of course, lots of sunlight. (the plant starts growing) Markiplier: Not even a minute and already it's huge! Bob: (faints) (cut to Markiplier at the hospital) Markiplier: Is Bob gonna be alright? Nurse: Yes, he is. I can already tell- Markiplier: Shut up, Nurse! I'm a doctor! Of course I know what's best! Wade: Mark, are you really a doctor? Markiplier: In cases like these, yes. (Bob wakes up) Bob: Where's Sophie? Markiplier: She's not here! Nurse: I saw her during a checkup once. It was 14 years ago... Markiplier: Yeah, before I went into medical school. Bob: So, what now? (cut to Markiplier, Bob and Wade at Markiplier's house) Bob: Mark, I love amusement park rides! Markiplier: Oh, yeah! We need a ladder for the coffee plant, so let's go! (cut to Markiplier, Bob and Wade at the amusement park) Markiplier: Wow. They fixed it up and now it's awesome! Bob: It is? Markiplier: Yes, Bob. All of this was crap when we first showed up, and now it's so g**damn awesome! Bob: Let's just go to the Coaster of Hell! Markiplier: Wait, what is going on there? Rollercoaster Operator: Sorry, young boy. You're too short. Boy: Aww, come on! (Markiplier, Bob and Wade show up) Rollercoaster Operator: You must be at least- Hey, you three look tall enough! You can ride if you want. Markiplier: Sweet! Boy: Is that a Let's Player and his friends? (cut to Markiplier riding the rollercoaster) Markiplier: That was so awesome! Rollercoaster Operator: Here, have a free ladder! (cut to Markiplier, Bob and Wade at Markiplier's house) Markiplier: I've got the seeds! (Markiplier climbs down the ladder) Markiplier: Now I can finally get a cup of coffee! (cut to the coffee shop) Markiplier: I got the coffee beans! Coffee Shop Lady: Thank you! I'll give you a cup of coffee on the house! Bob: Well, you did something good and you got some coffee on the coffee shop! Coffee Shop Lady: Here's your coffee! Markiplier: Thanks! Bob: Well, you got your coffee. Now what? Markiplier: As soon as I finish up this coffee, anyone up for playing more Spore? Bob: Yes, I would love to play more Spore. Markiplier: Okay, good. (the end) Category:Markiplier